We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize