Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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