absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
