No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
