real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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