I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
high people should be assigned attendants
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
