I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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