i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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