i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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