im drinking this country out of the recession.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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