booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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