Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
you didnt know i had herpes?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
