Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
