Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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