The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
