If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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