exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
