Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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