STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
