i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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