You just made me feel so damn special
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Randomize
