Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize