Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
