I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
