The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
