U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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