what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
