Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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