Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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