Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
