her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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