come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
