So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
