left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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