There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
