i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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