The maid of honor just puked.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
