Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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