i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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