I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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