You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
