Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
