i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
