Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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