he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
