I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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