So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
