i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize