i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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