So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
