First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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