I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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