dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
