This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
