Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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