You work out of a Hotel?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
