In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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