he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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