And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
