And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
