so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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