They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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