FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
