If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
