You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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