He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
