dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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