Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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