i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize