Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
