the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
