I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
