All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
