nut hugger
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
