I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
